Life and Roadblocks

September 1, 2009

Hello Everyone!

I have been silent for a while. I haven’t had much to say, or truthfully, nothing I wanted to share. I think I am finally ready to start talking again. I have been trying to find my way back from a detour that I could not have predicted, could not have prepared for.. I am still a little lost, but I thought it might be helpful to share some of my thoughts about life, roadblocks, and moving forward.

If you are curious, read on!
Ellen Lerner. Drama Queen

Life, Roadblocks and Moving Forward

This past June, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
It’s been a long summer, and it’s been a scary summer.

I am happy to say that as I write this newsletter, I only have one more day of radiation therapy. Going through radiation has been challenging at times, but I am grateful that it was only radiation. In fact, I am grateful for the type of cancer I have. I never thought that I would utter the words cancer and grateful in the same breath, but there you are.

As a life coach, I am always looking for lessons, and life never disappoints.

So here they are, and if they make your challenges a little bit easier, your roadblocks more bearable, than I am still doing my job, even if the view from where I am standing is a little bit foggy. 

Dramatic Life Lessons!

1. Beauty and laughter can be found in the strangest places.

I have the most wonderful radiation technicians. We laugh, talk about our families, gossip, and tease each other like old friends. All of this happens in a room with a huge machine, where I am strapped to a table. I wait to be zapped by beams that will hopefully kill any of my remaining cancer cells. I am alone for this zapping, until my friends return to release me.

2. Joy can be felt and lived, even in our pain, even through our tears.

I am constantly amazed by my 8 month old, who is one of the most joyful people I know. Even when she cries, even when she is in pain (teething right now), her eyes will light up and she will find a smile or a laugh. She constantly reminds me to find joy in everything, the good, the bad, the uncertainties. She is my gift in this difficult time.

I hope you all have similar gifts in your lives..

3. Life is meant to be lived and experienced in the NOW!

There really is no point in worrying about tomorrow, in waiting for tomorrow, in planning for tomorrow. It’s not that you can’t plan, you can, it’s just that you must not be so attached to the future. When we spend all of our time looking forward, we forget to just enjoy where we are. When roadblocks present themselves, and they will, we crumble and lose our way. I for one, am trying to just enjoy and be present with each moment, each hour, each day. I know how to plan, but I would like to get better at just being!

What about you?

4. Roadblocks, why now, why me?

Well, why not me! That’s what I told my devastated parents when they found out. I am not special, I am just one of the many people who have had to deal with the C- word. It’s never a good time to have cancer, but what was the universe thinking I wondered. Why cancer now, when I have to take care of my baby. Well, I didn’t get too far with the why me, why now dialogue. Instead, I decided to accept my roadblock for what it is, a pretty crappy deal, but also an opportunity to slow down and to start taking care of myself, really good care. There is no rhyme or reason when life strikes us hard.. Yes, we can rant and rage against the injustice, but ultimately we must keep moving forward. At least, that’s what I am doing.

When life presents you with a roadblock, I hope you will find a perspective that keeps you moving forward, that gives you some comfort, and that brings you some joy, even in the darkest of times.